Dating separate woman
Together for 11 years, married for 10, 6 year old child. He wouldn’t wear the ring, wouldn’t hold my hand or kiss me in public, wouldn’t talk to me at parties, was just a jerk, not a man. We would stand in front of the mirror, naked, and he would only look at his own body and say what a great body he’s got. And just out of boredom I joined an online dating site and started talking to a few people. He was interesting and showing a huge interest in me, in how I felt, etc. And when he stood behind me, put his arms around me and held me really strong and rubbed me for 10 minutes, I didn’t want this moment to end and almost cried. We’ve been seeing each other since then and started to want to see each other more and more. But I feel absolutely NO physical attraction any more. I agreed to give him a chance and promised to stop any contact with my ‘boyfriend’. I don’t want to go through a divorce because of the child but then, should I stay unhappy? It’s so frustrating, and when I talk to young people, or even people considering second marriage, I tell them to look at the person’s parents because that is what their husband or wife will most likely turn into.
My husband’s excuse for not being a good husband or partner is that his father didn’t treat his mom nice. Never touched me, even though I asked so many times and said how important that was to me. And then pinched a bit of my skin to show me that I have half an inch of fat on my belly. Last month I told my husband that our marriage stopped working for me. Let’s get to the part of your post that really struck a nerve with me.
I have seen many men and women devastated by such an experience.
If you believe in the power of human choice, then you must concede that your estranged spouse may well turn from his or her estrangement and seek reconciliation. The above article comes from the book, Hope For the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed, written by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Moody Publishers.
This book deals with the question of dating while separated, how to relate to your children during this time, and ways to improve communication.
So, the innocent one either walks away broken hearted, or they compromise and continue to see the person because they’re already too emotionally attached and invested. You didn’t join an online dating site because you were bored. You needed validation that you were desirable, that someone would want to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Because if you go into a candy store, chances are you will come out of it with a purchase, right? First of all, I am going to assume he isn’t married, but I don’t know that for sure. You are asking me if you should stay with your husband or be with this new guy, and my answer is, your decision shouldn’t be based on whether or not you have a boyfriend. You either want your marriage to work or you don’t think it can. This boyfriend guy shouldn’t be in the mix, only in the sense that he gave you a taste of the notion that it is possible to meet someone else at this stage in your life.
So, they rationalize and tell themselves whatever they need to tell themselves to make the other person seem like their soul mate, when in reality, the relationship started off with lies and deceit. You joined because you mentally checked out of your marriage (I can understand why, based on your email). If he is married, I’ve got all kinds of other issues. I think that men and women are on their best behavior and most infatuated at the beginning of a relationship—especially one where the time you spend together is so limited. I hope I wasn’t too hard on you, or that I sound judgmental.