Hermaphrodite having sex with men
"He doesn't have any get up and go and he never suggests anything – not even an evening in the pub – he just relies on me, and so I end up doing absolutely everything, or it just wouldn't get done. "What gets me most is that when I met him he was perfectly capable of running his own life, but over the years he's regressed and now it's like living with a lazy teenager." It's a pattern that Kaye recognises in couples where one partner is particularly dominant – and these days it's usually the woman who is the one in control.By taking over every household task, women are effectively colluding in their partner's lack of involvement."It's not entirely our fault, because the demands of the workplace have changed us, and brought out our more masculine side.But unfortunately we're taking that home with us every evening into the domestic sphere, and often bullying our men into submission." Harriet Harman's remarks earlier this week that men can't be trusted to run the Government on their own, appears to chime with a growing female consensus that we are somehow superior.It's by no means an unreasonable expectation – but it is an unwise one. Alarming figures from Relate, the counselling and sex therapy organisation, reveal a 40 per cent increase in married men who are perfectly capable of having sex, but no longer want to.If you require your partner to take the kids shopping for new ballet kit, take his turn at doing the laundry and make sure the fridge is stocked with Petit Filous, then you are effectively domesticating him to the point where his own instincts – to protect and provide in the broader sense – wither away, and, with them, any desire to put up a shelf, relag the boiler or do anything that might fall into the category of man's work. The mooted reason for this chronic loss of libido among men between 30 and 50?"Women are better multi-tuskers and so when our partners don't come up to scratch we complain bitterly as a parent would, and end up doing the job ourselves, infantilising them in the process," she says.
It's a bitter pill to swallow for those of us who have spent our working lives striving for parity, while scorning the eyelash-batting treachery of women who played on their gender.
" It's little wonder then, that men's libidos are flagging.
Psychiatrist and medical director of Cygnet Health Care, Adrian Lord, says that political correctness means today's chaps are mired in confusion.
"We want them to count our contractions and share baby's midnight feeds, but then we want them out of the picture when we tire of them." One of my single male friends, a divorced surveyor in his early 40s, admits to being all at sea when it comes to wooing 21st-century women, who set the agenda and seem to have little patience.
"I tried online dating and I was shocked by the way these tough women presented me upfront with a list of what they expected from a relationship without seeming to care what I might want," he says.