Secular view on dating and mating
After all, you can wait years for someone else to change." What he decided was, indeed, there were some things he could have done differently—like not tried as hard to be so noncontrolling that his wife felt he had abandoned decision-making entirely.His wife, he came to understand, felt frustrated, as if she were "a married single parent," making too many of the plans and putting out many of the fires of family life, no matter how many chores he assumed. "Like lots of men today," he has since found, "I was very confused about my role as partner." After a few post-divorce years in the mating wilderness, Katz came to realize that framing a relationship in terms of the right or wrong mate is by itself a blind alley. We are not given the right tools to think about relationships.The article, which was backed on Twitter by Russell Moore, president of the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, who described it as "truth," pointed to statistics that show marriage rates among Christians are falling, and younger evangelicals have become more permissive on subjects like pornography."Long-standing Christian sexual ethics are making less and less sense to the unchurched — a key market for Evangelicals.That's giving church leadership fits over just how 'orthodox' they can be or should be on matters of sex and sexuality.Elliott Katz was stunned to find himself in the middle of a divorce after two kids and 10 years of marriage.The Torontonian, a policy analyst for the Ottawa government, blamed his wife.It's not a sign that you've chosen the wrong partner.It is the signal to grow as an individual—to take responsibility for your own frustrations.
Christian dating sites, he added, often operate much like secular ones, where humans are ranked as commodities.'Meeting people where they're at' becomes challenging," Regnerus stated."Congregations are coming face to face with questions of just how central sexual ethics are to their religious life and message."Regnerus explored the growing acceptance and ease of sex outside of marriage, and concluded that "cheap sex" has a way of "deadening religious impulses.""Perhaps the increasing lack of religious affiliation among young adults is partly a consequence of widening trends in nonmarital sexual behavior among young Americans, in the wake of the expansion of pornography and other tech-enhanced sexual behaviors," he suggested."Cohabitation has prompted plenty of soul searching over the purpose, definition and hallmarks of marriage.But we haven't reflected enough on how cohabitation erodes religious belief," Regnerus continued."We overestimate how effectively scientific arguments secularize people.A sociologist is arguing that sex, and not scientific belief, is driving more Americans toward secularization, and says that Christians have been "bruised" from being part of the same dating pool as everyone else."Sex has become cheap — that is, not hard to get — because it's much less risky and consequential in the era of birth control.Perceived barriers to marriage, meanwhile, are getting higher — prompting greater marital delay and fewer marriages overall.